[By Lisa Wee]
Sex…. We’re doing it wrong, and our partners are dying to tell us. At least that’s what the statistics say.
To help rectify this potentially awkward situation for our readers, we speak to two industry leading sexperts, who give us their take on the most common things boys and girls do wrongly in the sack.
Even the most experienced of men may make a mistake or two in the bedroom from time to time and some end up fumbling more times than their favorite football team. Retired Japanese AV star Judy Katsuma lists her top 3 pet peeves.
Mistake #1: Not taking cues (whether verbal or physical) from their women
“Most women complain that men don’t listen and it translates into the bedroom as well,” says Katsuma. “Perhaps it stems from the male ego, which tells them, ‘I know it already’ or ‘I know it better than she does.’”
Mistake #2: “Not warming up the engine properly before putting the foot on the accelerator,” says Katsuma.
In other words – foreplay, foreplay, foreplay! “Insufficient foreplay can undermine the entire act of sex,” she says. “We women need it more than you guys do!”
Mistake #3: Lack of grooming!
Most women don’t want their men to smell anything but clean and fresh,” says Katsuma. “Shaving and waxing helps too. (Ouch!)”
You love your partner and assume he’ll initiate sex, so it’s all good, right? Not so fast! Did you ever think about what your role is…what you could be doing to turn up the heat? We did, so we asked renowned sex expert and family therapist Dr Judy Pearson. She says women commonly make three mistakes in the bedroom:
Mistake #1: Comfy Clothes
I know, ladies, that you want to be in those those comfortable nightgowns, those comfortable jammies, that you wear. But, honestly, the quickest turn-off to your partner or spouse are your comfy clothes. So, if you want to spice things up in your love life, shed those comfy clothes and find a ice, hot bra or a nice nighty, something you can be slinky, sexy and comfortable in that will be a turn-on to your partner.
Mistake #2: NOT Taking the Lead
Don’t wait to get asked to dance, meaning you’ve got to take the lead. You don’t have to wait for your partner to ask you to have sex or make love with them. Get involved, get into bed, take the lead and get your partner into bed with you. You’ll both have a lot of fun and enjoy yourselves.
Mistake #3: Criticism
It’s to be avoided at all costs. Nothing will turn off your partner faster than you telling him what you DON’T like and what you don’t want taking place. On the other hand, what will be a complete arousal and turn-on is letting him know what he CAN do to please you and what will excite you if he does it.