I’ve a confession to make. I’m a closeted Joan Ranger.  If you are smiling knowingly at what I’m talking about, chances of you being a fellow ranger are pretty high! Fashion Police on E network must be one of the best thing to happen on television since Sex & The City. It’s my weekly dose of guilty pleasure watching Joan Rivers dish out celebs with her evil comments; especially in my all-time favorite segment, ’Guess Me From Behind’.  Looking at all those mostly unflattering butt shots, somehow my own tiny tushie didn’t look half that bad after all! Having said that, it will take only that one other picture of J Lo, Kim K or Beyonce’s bountiful asset to send me hiding with serious curve envy. Sigh.

How many times have you secretly wished that hot woman sashaying down the streets in that pair of Daisy Duke’s denim shorts will trip and fall? If you think about it, it’s not that pair of barely there shorts that makes her hot. Neither is it the skimpy tank top or that head of tonged-out pageant-worthy curls.


Well girlfriend, sometimes, the guys aren’t really checking out the legs like what they rather us believe. It could very well be that awesome ‘behind’. Suffice to say, as lecherous as it may come across, butt watching is really not an activity exclusive to the turf of DOMs aka dirty old men. That all-important booty, nicely shaped and squeezed perfectly into those tweeny weeny shorts are going to make heads turn, both men and women alike.

It is true that the shape of your butt is largely predetermined by genetics. However, with discipline, diet and exercise; you too can transform your behind from ‘FLAB’ to ‘FAB’. Taking the letter ‘L’ out of ‘FLAB’ is akin to ditching Laziness in your routine. There is really no abracadabra magic that can be performed over-night. You will need nothing short of consistency and perseverance to whip that butt of yours into shape. Check out these 3 kick ass exercises that aim to help you achieve that booty-licious look by the time you step into that body hugging, curve skimping  Herve Leger gown next summer.

1. Squats

First on the list are Squats. Overall, Squats rank #1 as the best exercise to build and reshape your butt. They are perhaps also the easiest to do, and the hardest to get right. To begin, stand straight with your feet placed as far apart as your hips. Imagine there is a chair behind you and you want to sit on it while sinking low. Keep your chest and chin up and make sure both knee caps are pointing forward and not rotating outwards. For beginners, you might want to get your position right by doing the exercise with a wall against your back. When your knees are at 90 degrees, squeeze your butt cheeks together and start pushing yourself up. Perform 3 sets of 12 to 15 repetitions. If you are in the gym, add resistance by holding dumbbells in your hands or placing a bar across your shoulders. Werk it to grow it!

2. Lunges

Next we have Lunges which are best performed with dumbbells in your hands by the side of your body. Make a big step (approximately that of your shoulder width) forward and sink low while keeping your upper body erect. Ensure that you are not putting all the weight on your toes, keeping that weight evenly distributed on the whole front foot. Check that your knee is not pushing beyond the foot with each move. Next push yourself back to standing position while keeping your core muscles contracted. Repeat 12 to 15 times, then switch sides. Aim to complete 3 sets for each side.  As a variation, you can do alternating lunges, lunges stepping backward or walking lunges.

3. Step-Ups

Last but not least are Step-Ups. Stand close to a bench and put your right foot on top of it. Contract your right butt cheek to initiate the movement and push yourself up on the top of the bench. The higher the step you use throughout the exercise the more you’ll be targeting the glutes, so really try to push yourself here.  Hold the top position for one second, then slowly return to the starting position. Repeat 12 to 15 times, then switch sides. Again, target to perform a total of 3 sides for each side.

You don’t necessarily have to be performing each of these 3 exercises on every single workout as this could quickly lead to overtraining or giving up too soon as they are just simply too strenuous for one to cope. Keep things interesting by mixing them up. This has been shown to keep the body second guessing and constantly responding with better end results. When the going gets tough, just remember how awful it will be to be on the receiving end of Joan’s jibe in ‘Guess Me From Behind’!


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5 thoughts on “Bottoms UP”

  1. the thing is that i am trying to find ways to pad up my non-existent butt. short of butt implants, will the exercises help? I am afraid that the exercises will diminish my already small butt. Help!

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